


Buddy System

by kellifer_fic



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-03
Updated: 2013-11-03
Packaged: 2017-12-31 08:33:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1029557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kellifer_fic/pseuds/kellifer_fic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Why must you make me do these things?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Buddy System

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LariaGwyn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LariaGwyn/gifts).



> A long overdue gift for Laria Gwyn. This is not the fic I meant to write her but I saw Thor 2 yesterday and my Darcy love is back in the red zone so this is me working out the kinks.

"I don't want any arguments."

"I really hate it when you start our conversations that way. It never bodes well for me," Darcy says. She'd been having a pretty super morning. She's cradling her brand spanking new Starkpad to her chest and has a triple chocolate muffin in her belly, both courtesy of Tony who'd, shockingly, been awake _and_ in a good mood at six in the morning which was like the planets aligning.

"I need you to stay with someone, just until their clearance is sorted," Coulson says.

"Ugh, S&S duty? Really? What did I do to piss you off?" Darcy whines. _Shadow and Stare_ duty is the one thing Darcy loathes. She's usually following around some junior agent who is far too excited to be in SHIELD's hallowed halls for Darcy's jaded acceptance. She also knows Coulson gives the task to people he's mad at and she's not one hundred percent sure she's done anything to warrant it.

Unless he found out about that thing that was totally Clint's idea. Or that other thing that was Natasha’s. Maybe the cheese thing that Maria... oh hell.

"It's not a punishment," Phil says. "This is someone a little... unusual. Plus, he's closer to your age." Phil steps backward and gestures behind him. Standing at the end of the hall is what looks like a guy who has barely scraped out of his teens and he's not in the usual junior agent uniform. Instead he's wearing a Batman t-shirt, jeans and sloppy trainers. He's got his thumbs hooked into the straps of his backpack and most tellingly, he looks bored.

"Okay, so he's cute. At least you're giving me something nice to look at while you're ruining my day."

"How did I manage to surround myself with nothing but overly dramatic people?" Phil laments dryly and Darcy gives him a grin and bats her lashes.

"We're drawn to your natural charisma."

"Just, take Mr. Parker-"

"Oh my god, _what_?" Darcy squeaks. "Peter Parker, as in _Spider-Man_?"

Phil never does anything as gauche as show it on his face when he's surprised, but Darcy has learned to read his eye blinks and he's pretty startled that she knows who Peter Parker really is. "His identity is Level Six Classified."

Darcy looks guiltily at her Starkpad.

"Why must you make me do these things?" Phil asks, plucking the tablet out of Darcy's grip.

"Nooooo!" Darcy wails, making grabby hands for it. "My shiny!"

"You can have it back when Laura strips the security bypass protocols off it that Stark mistakenly thought was a good idea to give you."

"Are you comfortable about our relationship being built on a foundation of stealing stuff from me?" Darcy asks archly.

"Go make nice," Phil instructs, ignoring her glare and giving her a gentle nudge in Peter's direction.

*

Peter isn't as humorless as he first appeared. Darcy actually finds him pretty adorable as he devours the cafeteria food most agents wouldn't touch if their lives depended on it while blathering about scientific principles that Darcy has no hope of understanding in a steady stream. Darcy's learned the subtle art of looking interested and humming in the right places to appear like she does being exposed to Jane and Doctor Banner for so long and she's rewarded for her patience when he finally switches to complaining about how wrong some movies are, like The Core.

Darcy can totally weigh in when it comes to stuff like that.

Peter's got some questionable banana cake stuffed in his cheeks when he says, "Some dude has been staring at us for about ten minutes like he's imagining squishing my head like a grape."

Darcy looks over her shoulder and sees that it's Clint. "Don't worry, that's his default expression," she says, dismissive.

"Seriously. Is he like your _dad_ or something?"

Darcy nearly snorts soda out of her nose. "Uh, no. That's Hawkeye."

"The guy with the-?" Peter mimes a bow and arrow.

"Uhuh, that's him."

Peter looks hilariously mortified for a moment. "Oh god, is he your _boyfriend_? I'm so sorry about asking if he was your dad first if that's the case."

"No, dude, it's fine. While I do tend to lust after the hot, older, aloof soldier types, he in no uncertain terms made it clear that he's not into younger women with spectacular decolletage."

"Is he crazy?" Peter asks.

"I know, right?"

"That wasn't a pass!" Peter blurts, then reddens. "Not that you're... or that I wouldn't... just," he kind of flails his hands for a second, like he's realized that more words are only going to dig him into a deeper embarrassment.

"No, totally cool. I'm getting a bro vibe, right?"

"Yes!" Peter breathes, looking relieved. "I mean you're... y'know, _wow_." Darcy preens as Peter's gaze drops to his fingers. "Just, I'm in heavy pining mode right now."

"Ugh, poor chicken," Darcy says, reaching across to lace their fingers together.

"Okay, seriously. He doesn't have laser eyes or something does he, because he's creeping me out."

"Clint can't kill you from a distance, unless he has his bow on him," Darcy says and Peter doesn't look reassured in the least.

*

"No."

"But-"

"I'm not just adopting any wayward strays you randomly happen upon," Tony says, not looking up from the doohickey in his hands. He's got a tiny screwdriver jammed into one side of his mouth like a cigar that he's talking around.

"He's not a stray, he's Spider-Man," Darcy says, flinging a hand out towards the entry door to Tony's workshop where Peter's hovering uncertainly.

During the renovations on the tower after the whole Loki thing, the Avengers along with Jane and Darcy have been staying at Tony's mansion. He'd been oddly pleased about it which no one was expecting so Darcy had thought maybe it wouldn't be pushing her luck to get Peter a room.

The SHIELD accommodations are just too depressing.

"I'm not really comfortable with you telling everyone that," Peter pipes up.

" _Why_ is he wearing that shirt?" Tony asks crossly. "You all know how I feel about Batman."

"That he could never measure up to you? That Forbes did a superhero rich list and even though he was fictional and therefore his resources were seemingly infinite, you still beat him?"

Tony arches an eyebrow at her. "You're evil." He sighs heavily and sets his gadget aside.

"He speaks science geek. I introduced him to Doctor Banner and they were drawing on a whiteboard and high-fiving each other by the end of the hour."

"Bruce likes him?" Tony says, starting to sound a little swayed, or maybe jealous. He's a touch possessive of Bruce.

"Even if _you_ don't want to adopt him, I'm pretty sure Bruce does."

"Fine," Tony huffs. "If he burns that shirt, he can stay."

"But I like-" Peter starts to say from the doorway. Darcy shakes her head at him vigorously. "Ah, burning shirts?" he finishes when Tony's glare is levelled at him. Tony smirks and waves a dismissive hand.

"Find a room for him. Preferably in your wing. I don't want his boundless enthusiasm and messy hair anywhere near me in the mornings."

"Wow, stone throwing in the glass house much?" Darcy laughs, reaching up to rub at Tony's own wild hair. He's been looking especially mad professor lately.

"Back, wench!" Tony cries, waving a spanner at her.

*

"This is awesome," Peter enthuses, shuffling around Tony's sunken living room. "They used to telecast Stark parties before he was Iron Man and I always wondered what it would be like to live like this."

Darcy's watching him make a circuit. They're currently stuck cooling their heels because Phil was serious about trying to sort out Peter's clearance. Peter's a candidate to join the Avengers but that doesn't mean the government can’t bury them in red tape.

"What's he doing here?" Clint asks, sounding aggrieved as he enters the living room. Natasha is at his shoulder but she darts around him to get a look at their new houseguest, face speculative.

Without warning, Natasha throws a sharp, snap-kick at Peter's abdomen. He blocks it, looks almost lazy doing it. He blinks at her and frowns. "What the hell?" he demands, retreating to Darcy's side.

Natasha makes a thoughtful noise, tapping her chin. "I can usually tell how someone will fight by their build and their stance, but _you_ are a contradiction."

"Oh my god," Clint grumbles, dragging a hand over his face.

"Come," Natasha says, actually snaps her fingers at Peter. "We need to spar."

"Uh-"

"You'd better go," Darcy says, shoulder-checking him. "Otherwise she's just going to land on you from the ceiling or something one morning."

When they're gone, Peter throwing furtive glances at her while he's tugged from the room, Clint drops onto one of the couches and scowls. "Really? _Him_?"

"Him what?" Darcy asks, confused.

"Just," Clint flails a hand and Darcy's sure it means something in Clint-land but she's completely at a loss.

"Look, he's going to be on your team. Living with you guys might speed up the bonding process."

"I don't want to _bond_ with him," Clint gripes, jabbing a finger in the direction Peter and Natasha disappeared.

"What's your problem?" Darcy demands. "Usually you're the most accepting of everyone. I was worried about _Tony_ acting like a child and yet he's a bastion of maturity compared to you right now."

“We’ve... the _team_ has a good dynamic going at the moment. I don’t want to see that ruined.”

“It won’t be if you just quit it with the murder face.”

“It’s not a murder face, it’s just my face.”

“He thinks you hate him and I’m starting to think he’s right. What’s your problem?”

“I don’t have a problem,” Clint argues hotly. “I just like things the way they are.”

“Yeah, I know,” Darcy says and when Clint just blinks at her, she throws her hands up, frustrated. “Stuff changes Barton. You change with it or you become that guy sitting in a corner grumbling about the good ol’ days.”

“Everything okay?” Darcy looks around to see Steve hovering in the doorway, fresh for a run and looking concerned. 

“Steve! Have you met Peter?” Darcy says quickly as Clint just sinks further into the couch, nostrils flaring and arms crossed.

“Uh, no?” Steve says, throwing confused glances at Clint.

“Well, c’mon then. I want him to meet one person who’ll actually be nice to him.”

*

Steve and Peter hit it off well, bonding over being runty kids that had suddenly had power thrust upon them. Darcy leaves them with Peter holding the shield reverentially and asking questions about it that probably only Bruce or Tony would be able to answer but Steve doing his good-natured best anyway.

Darcy’s back in the kitchen when Clint slumps in, looking contrite. “Jarvis told me I was being a dick.”

“You’re kidding,” Darcy laughs. 

“Not in so many words. He just played back the video for me a little pointedly. Apparently he does that to Tony all the time.”

“Explains why Tony sometimes apologizes for stuff I’ve forgotten about,” Darcy muses.

Clint straightens, pastes on a pleasant smile that looks almost painful to hold onto and says, “So, if you and he are going to... I’m not going to be an ass about it.”

“If we’re going to what?” Darcy asks slowly, pausing in her efforts to find the double-stuffed Oreos she could have sworn she’d seen in the cupboard last time she was in this kitchen. Thor had been at the mansion since then though so that didn’t always bode well for their longevity. 

“Y’know, date.”

“I’m not dating Peter,” Darcy says flatly, nudging the cupboard door closed with a knee and raising an eyebrow at Clint.

“You get along, he’s your age-”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“I just thought-”

“That my embarrassing crush on you would just conveniently disappear as soon as the first pretty guy that can hang from the ceiling by his feet came along?”

“That’s still a... thing?” Clint asks, ducking his face and swallowing. 

“Yes, and I’m sorry that makes you uncomfortable but that’s your problem,” Darcy says, crossing her arms and glaring.

“It doesn’t make me uncomfortable the way you think it does.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“C’mon, Darce. I’m... he thought I was your _dad_.”

“You heard that?”

“I can read lips.”

“So?”

“Just proves my point, that we’d be... _y’know_ , to everyone else.”

“I don’t give a crap what everyone else thinks,” Darcy says. “All I care about is you on this particular topic and you seem to-” Darcy is working up to a really good rant, but she can’t be too pissed about being interrupted when Clint does it with his mouth. “Um, hello?” she says when Clint finally leans away from her.

“I’m thinking maybe I should get on board that train, considering how crazy it made me to think the two of you were...”

“It made you crazy?” Darcy asks coyly, twisting a strand of hair around her finger. 

“So crazy,” Clint agrees, ducking back in to nip and suck at Darcy’s neck. She tilts her head to give him better access, but then pushes away and punches him in the arm. 

“Ow, hey!” Clint protests.

“This isn’t just some alpha male possessive thing and you’re going to lose interest as soon as you’re sure I’m a free agent are you?” Darcy demands.

“God, no,” Clint says. “I’ve been fighting this for a while and I can tell you, it was a losing battle.”

“Good, I also don’t want you freaking out in a month and disappearing or something.”

“I can’t promise anything,” Clint says and when Darcy narrows her eyes at him, he offers a tentative shrug. “Sometimes I’m bad at... stuff. I’ll try to be better though, for you.”

“How romantic,” Darcy says dryly.

“Sweetheart, I’m banged up inside and out. I’ll also be honest with you about it though, if that sounds like a deal?”

“I guess I can live with that,” Darcy agrees after a beat, smiling as Clint ducks in again.

*

“So, he _is_ your boyfriend.”

“I’ve been tasked with coming up with a better word than that,” Darcy says, nudging the box of Frosted Flakes in Peter’s direction in the morning.

“Love muffin?” Tony provides from over by the coffee machine.

“Snuggle bunny?” Natasha asks idly from her perch on the counter.

“I’m not sure this is what Agent Coulson meant when he talked about getting to know the team,” Peter says, burying his head in his bowl of cereal with a resigned noise.

“You get used to it,” Darcy says, crunching happily.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[podfic] Buddy System](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1333738) by [kellifer_fic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kellifer_fic/pseuds/kellifer_fic), [reena_jenkins](https://archiveofourown.org/users/reena_jenkins/pseuds/reena_jenkins)




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